@FSUSteve: Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?
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@KyleMcDowell86: [getting pulled over] Me: R u a bear cop? Bear cop: Is that a problem? Me: As long as you're not a maul cop *mauls me for bad pun*
@MandiAtRandom: I feel like something is missing from my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.
@imdaintyaf: When I was a little girl dreaming about what life in my thirties might be like, I envisioned way more powerful enemies.
@aveuaskew: Installing home security cameras seemed like a great idea but explaining my dance offs with the dog was something I should've considered.