@FSUSteve: Ever been in the middle of writing a great tweet and think, did I just run someone over?
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@MelKassel: SCIENTIST: it's our thinnest toilet paper yet, sir. less than a picometer CEO: *rips it by breathing on it* put it in every public restroom
@AthenaMystique: I'd only convert to Christianity to learn how to turn water to wine. WHADYA MEAN THEY DON'T TEACH YOU THAT? WHAT'S THE POINT, THEN?
@withanewname: It's like these people at the liquor store have never seen somebody pay with this much change