@robyn_vo: Dad: HEY come here, did you go to school with this guy on tv? Me: Dad, that's Spongebob Squarepants Dad: Must've been in your sister's class

@KoKeniSasquatch: Thanks to this face I've been forced to work on my personality and wit for decades.

@StaciedeNOLA: If I were a rapper I'd write a lyric like "Get money, make cupcakes. Must be winter 'cuz I be frosting," and my pseudonym would be One-Zee.

@amishschool: My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support.

@Classy_Cassy89: 45 min phone call w/8yo nephew: Aunt Cassy, there are 206 bones in the human body!Want me to name them?1.Cranium 2.Mandible 3.Scapula...