@HollyHeals: Ever have the shower curtain touch you unexpectedly and start karate chopping the air?? No, me either.
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@Faux_Ma: Her: "My baby paints with her food because she's artistic." Me: "That or your baby paints with her food because she's a goddamn baby."
@ImSoFrancis: Drug Dealer: are you wearing a wire? Me: the only wire I'm wearing is why're you still single? Cops Outside In Van: *collective groan*
@murrman5: are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? "yes" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*