@_shellzbellzzz_: Ever look at your frequently used emojis and realize that your two moods are drunk and circus tents?
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@thenatewolf: Tell me more about these male enhancement pills... Will they help me chop wood better? How about pelts? Will I know how to make pelts?
@clemdytan: I shot my first Turkey today. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section, it was awesome!
@hello_saylor: Fact: it's impossible to look tough while getting a snack from a vending machine. You're all, "Wheeee! A tiny bag of Cheetos!"
@aveuaskew: "Your resume has MPGMA listed under hobbies. What exactly is that?" Making people guess the meaning of acronyms.