@KizerBillhelm: Ever look in a mirror wondering about the stranger staring back & then realize it's your neighbor's window and they're calling the cops?
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@TheDailySchmuck: Every time I'm the only black person at a party I think: "Wow. I helped them make quota."
@Moldy_Jellybean: Just when I manage to convince myself that I am a superior and more intelligent being, I walk into a door.
@kwirkyKerri: *at movie theater* M: I'll take a large popcorn with extra butter. H: Sure. What movie are you seeing? M: I'm not.