@thatUPSdude: Ever notice how loud the sound of a beer can opening up is at the gym.
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@realdealbiehl: Turns out 6 foot penguins don't exist, in related news, I might have just ran over a nun.
@ddsmidt: I want to be in a heavy metal band just so I can scream terrible things at crowds of people and not be accused of having PMS.
@TheAlexP: 9 out of 10 therapist agree to just be yourself The other one realizes that's what got you into this shit in the first place.
@markleggett: Approach a woman in a bar and whisper "Hey, wanna get out of here?" If she says yes, you can sit where she was.