@wittwitbarista: Ever notice how pathetically lonely you are when the person in the next bathroom stall completely ignores your knock knock joke?
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@imdaintyaf: Don't date a man expecting to change him. At the end of the day he'll still be a man, and you'll have wasted your black candles and a goat.
@FadeAway2: Guys, women can spot another woman at 10 paces and tell you if she's wearing 5" or 6" heels. She knows exactly what, 6"+ looks like.
@mishakey: I was tailgating a slow driver earlier. He brake checked, flipped me off, and when that didn't work he turned his police lights on. Jerk.
@BruceForce: I mainly get my exercise by awkwardly running to doors when people hold them open for me