@wittwitbarista: Ever notice how pathetically lonely you are when the person in the next bathroom stall completely ignores your knock knock joke?
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@007Pepe_Rex: Top 3 questions asked by my parents: 3) How's the business? 2) Do you have a girlfriend? 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator?
@Teowulf: We get it - "Bacardi" rhymes with "party," "bottle" rhymes with "model," and "sex" rhymes with "text." You rappers can stop rapping now.
@MoistPork: If you're a vegan and an atheist and a runner, how do you choose which way to annoy people in a conversation first?