@turkeyheadmac: Ever noticed how fast people walk across the road when you don't apply the brakes
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@notxzibit: Google search history: Marawana Marjawana Is there a j in marawana Wheat Wheat for smoking Free wheet
@llvvzz: Your psychiatrist's opinion about your social media habits don't count if he has less followers than you.
@Kyle_Lippert: Mumford & Sons! It's your cousin, Marvin. Marvin & Sons. You know that new sound you're looking for? *holds phone to a boiling pot of water*
@DoreyZoe: My next door neighbour just accused me of stealing clothes from her washing line. I nearly shit her pants