@NicestHippo: Ever since childhood I've identified as a hippo. While other kids were playing, I savagely mauled villagers. #TransSpecies
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@HairyJew4Life: Me: What's one thing you don't like about your girlfriend? Him: She doesn't swallow. Me: What? How does she eat?
@BlackCheesePie: this is your brain *points to egg* but this is your brain ON DRUGS *puts egg on pile of drugs*
@KevinFarzad: To everyone with a motorcycle: your motorcycle is very loud & we are all very proud of you.
@CountGripsnatch: I'm no architect, but I don't think it's possible to build a city on rock and roll.