@davetureq: Ever since they started calling pole dancers "artists," I've been writing on my resume that my talents include "moving in artistic circles."
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@jonnysun: dog who is interested in graphic design, lookig at the new pantone color of the year: i dont get it, everey year its just the same dam color
@RandomManik: My gym instructor says that Warm-Ups are extremely necessary. So, I brought donuts along this time but I can't find the microwave oven.
@kevinrowe1: Doctor: Between 1 and 10, describe how much pain are you in? Me: Is married a number? That's how I get the good meds...
@CatherineLMK: Shaking hands is so weird: "Nice to meet you, have some germs and dead skin cells."