@ibid78: Ever since we lowered our ceilings here at the shipyard, sails have gone through the roof.
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@phalguy: My girlfriend's ex won't leave her alone. I'd drive there and do something about it if my wife would just give me the keys.
@Eric_Bader: Got laid twice in two days so either I've done something really good or my wife has done something really bad.
@jessokfine: When I see a guy with a tooth pick in his mouth I'm like, wow. look at that guy. he ate most of a tree.
@thepunningman: AA Milne: Ok rabbit, we'll call you Rabbit. Piglet, you can be Piglet Bear: Wow, real original AAM: [scribbles out Bear and writes Pooh]