@VerifiedDrunk: Ever talk to someone so stupid you can actually hear them misspelling words?
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@stpeteyontweety: Jesus’s ability to reheat food is a bigger question than his status as a deity........
@PharmerRPh: Judge: "Reason for divorce?" Me: "Reconcilable differences." Judge: "Don't you mean irreconcilable?" Me: "Ugh. You sound just like her."
@Duke1173: You're telling me that you paid eight dollars for a cup of coffee... They don't put any booze in it or nothin?