@markydoodoo: Ever try spreading really cold butter on toast? I'm like the human version of that.
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@BoogTweets: *Rap battle* Me: *lips on mic* PLEASE STOP DROPPING THE MIC. IT WAS A BIRTHDAY PRESENT FROM MY MOM.
@girlwithatail: This woman's "I'm deleting my Facebook" post has 52 comments and she's replied to all of them. Not a strong start.
@Kneevyl: If it weren't for dating sites, I'd still have some self-esteem. Thank God, it's all gone now.
@TheBoydP: Top uses for a bathroom exhaust fan: 3. Remove moisture from the air 2. Remove odor from the air 1. Cover up disgusting sounds