@markydoodoo: Ever try spreading really cold butter on toast? I'm like the human version of that.
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@Carbosly: Want to get rid of your husband without killing him? Just send him to the grocery store & ask for pine nuts. Mine has been gone 6 years.
@Bexdora: Piglet: *sees recipe book* Honey-glazed...Pooh, what's ham? WinniethePooh: A food that goes well with honey. Now, how about a nice hot bath?
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: Cop: This is a ticket for drunk and disorderly behavior. Me: Can I have another? I'd like to bring a guest.
@Quartzjixler: The cashier wasn't impressed with my top hat, sash, and monocle until I said "Keep the change" from the $1 I gave him for my $0.95 purchase.