@LOsepyan: Ever wonder how the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow?
@StellaGMaddox: My minivan is always rocking, but it's usually because I'm trying to smack one of the kids in the backseat while I drive.
@o__0Dev: There’s no logical reason for shorts to be the same price as pants.
@NoticablyBacon: My sexual fantasy is that I'm a pizza boy, and I deliver pizza to sorority girls and they can't pay for it, so my boss lets me take all that pizza home for free
@PeaceInTruth1: I'm old enough to remember being the tv remote.
@CrapLocalNews: Breaking news: