@cervixsmash: Every 5 seconds a woman gives birth to a baby. Stop this woman
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@jayonguitar: If your girlfriend offers to make you breakfast at 2 AM. She's probably not your girlfriend and your just drunk at Denny's again.
@IamEveryDayPpl: Me: "I need big girl clothes." Him: "You haven't gained that much." Me: "I meant adult clothes for work." Him: "Does the couch pull out?"
@nolifecoach: To the woman with the screaming kids in Walmart: If you're wondering how the condoms got in your cart....You're welcome