@cervixsmash: Every 5 seconds a woman gives birth to a baby. Stop this woman
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: A bag of my favorite peanuts has gone missing. LIAM NEESON: How did you get this number?
@prontopup: "OMG IT'S RAINING A LITTLE BIT AND NOW I'VE FORGOTTEN EVERYTHING I'VE EVER KNOWN!!!" - Drivers, apparently.
@UncleDuke1969: "The powder | "The pow| "The power | "The power of Cheese | "The power of Ch| "The power of Christ compels you!" - The AutocorrExorcist