@daobviousturtle: Every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute passes.
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@krishna_van: People accuse me of never giving a damn about anyone but myself, but I distinctly remember saying 'bless you' when someone sneezed last year
@slimmy_shady: My gf told me that I punched her in the face while I was sleeping last night. I apologized because I totally remember being awake for that.
@Ivsy01: When your friend wants to do a drive by but none of us can see that good at night anymore.