@tchrquotes: Every atom in your body is born in a star, traveled millions of light years, & through an amazing process became you. & you watch Teen Mom.
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@FrankTheDoorman: 97% of scientists believe climate change is man-made and causes rising sea levels of oceans. The other 3% believe Frank Ocean is an ocean.
@SadieSkyNinja: Sorry that I took a picture of my armpit and tried to pass it off as my thigh gap.
@jordan_stratton: All of our friends were having babies, so my wife and I decided we might as well go ahead and get new friends.
@sock_holliday: The person that invented toilet paper is easily the most under-appreciated hero in human history