@joeldanger: Every birthday is a surprise party after you turn 80.
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@MaryKoCo: If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it
@BlindChow: [scrabble] BATMAN: pass SUPERMAN: again? BATMAN: can't spell anything SUPERMAN: *rubbing temples* not every word has to start with BAT
@CommonSavant: Mom: Why can't you be successful like your brother? Amazon: heh Optimus: But I saved humanity from Decepticons! Thanksgiving at the Primes