@lecalabara: Every chair is a reclining chair when you're drunk.
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@Chicken_Hawk38: I only had one beer Cupcake Can i call you Cupcake? No?? Okay, I only had one beer Officer.
@Parker_Simpson: When I'm backing out of a parking spot I like to just close my eyes and gun it because anythings possible through Jesus Christ
@TheBeerGuy73: My dentist reminded me of my wife's sensitive gag reflex. We laughed & laughed. Then I remembered that my wife & I have different dentists.
@_The_Man__: wife: im pregnant me: what? im not ready to be a mother we still have petty arguments wife: im the mother me: this is what I'm talking about