@kumailn: Every chef on Chopped's like "I was medically dead for 3 yrs & my wife married the guy who pushed me off that bridge. My specialty is bao."
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@NikiWithIssues: It's okay when Pac Man runs all over the place eating pills and claiming ghosts are after him but when I do it I'm "crazy."
@jessokfine: I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you.
@iLikeCatShirts: Boxing is like a dance, a dance where you punch your dance partner until he doesn't want to dance anymore.
@oakhillbargrill: If you are trading Cephalopods, it's important that you exchange those that are of equal size and value. You know.... Squid Pro Quo