@fuzzlime: every coat is a fur coat when your cat sleeps on it
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@MikeCanRant: Thanks History Channel for letting me know that this scene showing General Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn is a dramatization.
@Birdhumms: Why is it when someone asks if you've lost weight you immediately feel like eating a dozen donuts to celebrate.
@ihateitmunky: guy who's about to repair my iPhone screen: may i have your passcode for testing? Me: ..ya know what i don't even want it fixed
@bholejuice: When my wife picks a restaraunt that I don't like, I just say "oh yeah, that's where that really cute girl works". Problem solved.