@fuzzlime: every coat is a fur coat when your cat sleeps on it
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@thenatewolf: *Creator of Charlie Brown sits down to draw a cartoon* What do eight-year-old boys look like again? Bald? It's bald, right?
@GrantTanaka: wife: maybe you should start working out again me: [literally sweating from trying to open a can of pringles] why
@TheFaldor: Why do Swedish warships have bar codes on the sides? So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.