@Sanbel11: Every day I learn something new as a parent. Today I learned I can't sit through my daughter's violin recital without a desire to die.
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@JermHimselfish: Def Leppard are a bunch of liars. I poured some sugar on a girl one time and it was a complete mess, she was not happy at all.
@chryztl: My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs... I've been his customer for 6 years... I had no idea he was a barber.
@BoogTweets: *Busts through Kool-aid mans wall* Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home Me: I'm sorr… *A sippy cup starts crying*