@Sanbel11: Every day I learn something new as a parent. Today I learned I can't sit through my daughter's violin recital without a desire to die.
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@KevinFarzad: Fellas, here's a flirting tip: If a girl plays with her hair while taking to you, it means she has lice and you should stay away from her.
@ojedge: [red carpet] "So Ryan, who are u with tonight?" Ryan Gosling [proudly] "My parents" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]