@batkaren: "Every dog has his day," they used to say. Still, no one was quite prepared that morning Emperor Mister Pickles marched his army into town.
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@callie_cakes: Pro Tip: Don't EVER tell a 10yr old boy that you don't "get" X-Men. Because. They. Will. Explain. It.
@Brampersandon_: [Me]: *slams fork & knife down on table* Not cool, babe. [Wife]: You didn't honestly think there'd be weed in your pot pie, did you?
@007Pepe_Rex: [At the Grand Canyon] Me: I L o v e T h i s P l a c e [ECHO] [ECHO] GC: Let's just be friends
@TeaAndCopy: [Going through customs] Anything to declare, sir? 1…2… Sir, what are you– 3…4…I declare a thumb war! Oh bring it on *misses flight*