@timdonakowski: Every dog, in a previous life, has been murdered by a shoe.
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@ThaJawn: *breathes on window creating condensation *starts to write in condensation *sneezes *head slams into window and breaks it
@ruinedpicnic: me: did you check the suggestion box boss: we don't have a suggestion box we have a paper shredder me: MY DRAWINGS
@ceejoyner: I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.
@moose_chocolate: Autocorrect changed "you're so wise" to "you're so wide", and now I need to find a good hiding spot before my wife comes home.