@LizHackett: Every earthquake is a reminder that you drunk-ate the good granola bars out of the earthquake kit eight years ago and never restocked them.
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@liv_thatsme: I always bring 2 pop tarts to work, so I can eat one now and the other one also now.
@alwayzintruble: My entire day will be spent laughing at my children because they have to go back to school tomorrow..
@mommywhines: It's so adorable when girls are scared to eat in front of a guy. I'll eat both your plates. Probably even the guy.
@SocialExtortion: How many drinks do I buy a girl if I want her to come home with me and clean up my room?