@kumailn: "Every family on 2013 had 'quite the year'." - study conducted using Christmas newsletters
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@longwall26: haha just plucked a shoulder hair so long it could only have been written by George R.R. Martin, who is widely known for abjuring brevity in
@Donnie_Fairburn: DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE A COP Ok, now that there are definitely no cops reading this...I'm trying to find some cocaine for this weekend guys
@noog: If your kid's shitty kindergarten drawing is hanging on your fridge, you are an enabler of mediocrity.
@Mr_Kapowski: [magician rolls over in bed] "Last night was amazing" Woman: Magical. Make me breakfast? Magician: [waves magic wand, eats her]