@kumailn: "Every family on 2013 had 'quite the year'." - study conducted using Christmas newsletters
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@TheTweetOfGod: Media, stop using the phrase 'breaking news'. It's been broken for some time now.
@BareChesty: I think my dog just OD'd on lightening bugs. I didn't even know that was a thing. Please teach your pets about bug addiction
@cheeky__gal: After decorating the house, I spilled cheap vodka on some glitter and dirt I was sweeping up. Now, my house looks like Ke$ha.