@TheBeerGuy73: Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time.
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@bacon_gillepic: Me: Your cat looks pregnant Friend: Impossible it's an indoor cat Me: What have you done
@ValeeGrrl: My neighbor's 2yo is on my front lawn shouting NO NO NO NO. Not sure what she's protesting but I'm gonna go join her.