@TheBeerGuy73: Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time.
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@weinerdog4life: Did you know you can just buy live lobsters? Anyway can I use your shower mine is full of lobsters
@VapingSonic: ME: haha u dare me to take off all my clothes and run thru this park COP: no ME: wow I cant believe ur making me do this lol COP: I'm not
@DadandBuried: They say kids grow up fast but I just licked my thumb & wiped my son's face so parents grow up fast too. I've already become my grandmother.
@Sarcasticsapien: I hate the phrase "let me clarify" because it means someone is about to talk some more.