@TheBeerGuy73: Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time.
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@FattMernandez: I haven't seen a kid on a leash in a while. I guess parents started releasing them back into the wild.
@chuuew: The inventor of rock, paper, scissors must have been an extremely dangerous man if he considered paper a weapon.
@Torriable: I just met the most interesting man at the laundromat And then I realized that he can't even afford A washer or a dryer