@RobDenBleyker: Every fifteen minutes, a teenager crashes his car due to texting and driving. I hope he gives up, because he's obviously not good at it.
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@cdncyn: I got thrown out of the zoo today.... apparently you're not allowed to feed the ducks..... to the alligators........
@weinerdog4life: Of course bears shit in the woods, they do most of their stuff in the woods, very few bears own a house.
@michaeldean0116: 'I like the smell of your meat' may not have been the best greeting to the hot waiter at the BBQ joint I picked for lunch.