@RobDenBleyker: Every fifteen minutes, a teenager crashes his car due to texting and driving. I hope he gives up, because he's obviously not good at it.
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@ayyyyloser: How to handle a one night stand the next morning: 1. Put on Titanic 2. He's gone, that's it
@trojansauce: [being held back from my burning house by firemen] get off me you bastar- MY VIN DIESEL BODY PILLOW IS STILL IN THERE
@juhipande: I woke up because of birds chirping.nI wish I had wings too.nI would fly to each of these birds & choke them one by one. n6 am is too early.