@iGreenMonk: Every fight is a food fight when you're a cannibal.
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@MollyRingwraith: I'm just like King Midas except everything I touch complains to human resources
@StellaRtwot: I never make my guests take their shoes off at the door because it takes them longer to get out when I want them to leave.
@BallsMcBallski: Me: Most of all, remember to be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Neighbor: If you don't stay out of my heating duct I'm calling the cops.