@Michael1979: Every funeral is open-casket if you've got a crowbar and a sense of adventure.
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@mynameisntdave: MOBSTER: *cracks knuckles* ME: that supposed to intimidate me? *his fingers start to glow like glowsticks* ME: k I'm scared but thats rad
@havingafatday: So what if I used a time machine to kill Hitler but arrived too late? And now he's alive and knows how to time travel? Would you guys be mad
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Do you party? Me: Well I do schedule two nights a month that I stay up past 11pm. So yeah.
@Reverend_Scott: *bark* "What's that Lassie?" *bark bark* "Timmy's stuck in a loveless marriage with an overly critical wife?" *bark* "Ooh, dinnertime."