@Michael1979: Every funeral is open-casket if you've got a crowbar and a sense of adventure.
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@Mr_Kapowski: Hispanic magician: "I will disappear on the count of three. Ready? Uno, dos" *poof* And just like that he vanished without a tres
@LurkAtHomeMom: *checks WebMD* Holy crap, I need an ambulance! *checks insurance deductible* Nevermind, I'll just take a vitamin or something.
@caseytduncan: When I find someone else's grocery list in a shopping cart I use it....see where it takes me.