@Mindless4Miles: Every gift from a child is special. Except for this, pine cone #763. I could really do without that.
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@HallpassCanada: Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick.....Till you're standing outside watching your house burn.
@rmfnord: If I was a ghost, I'd write "Happy Birthday" in blood on your wall for your birthday, cuz you may be cursed, but it's still your birthday.
@Ygrene: Son: [excited] dad, I just signed up for a triathlon Dad: [sighing, doesn’t look up from newspaper] well let me know when you sign up for a winathlon