@lwhit_the_boss: Every grocery store has free samples if you're quick enough
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@joshweller: Dear every guy that works out excessively, the sun is out! NOW is your moment! It was all worth it! Take that shirt off and walk around!!
@sammyrhodes: My leg brushed against the toilet in a Starbucks bathroom. Goodbye leg. You were a good leg.
@Sickayduh: "Hey Fred" Yeah Barney? "The Bee Gees have no hot chicks in the band" Yeah but ABBA do!