@joelebean: Every guy feels macho in his car. Until he races a woman who's late for something.
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@ghostkrogh: [pearly gates] st peter: welcome everybody- *i run up and slam dunk an imaginary ball thru his halo and then hang on it like it's the rim*
@jazmasta: "Ugh! Dave is coming to dinner" "Wait, Dave Jones or Dave who impersonates police cars?" [long silence] [hears faint sirens in the distance]
@scorpicpanda: *gets ponytail caught in elevator door *hands phone to stranger "Hey, could you get a shot of this for me?"