@Ilovelamp1979: Every idiot in Florida just turned on their electric heater & they crashed the grid. Now I'm forced to watch my neighbor sleep in the dark.
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@Mr_Kapowski: The best part of Pitbull is he yells out "MR WORLDWIDE!," at the beginning of each of his songs, giving you ample time to change the station
@Poutymcgee: I was in a cafe the other day when I overheard this: "Can you please stop listening to our conversation?"
@Dani_Feld: Dr: Are you sexually active? Me: *cries* Dr: Um, are you sexually- Me: *cries harder* Dr: .....Ok. Do you drink? Me: YES I BLOODY DRINK
@realHamOnWry: Unless you're planning to lay there shirtless in an open casket, there really is no point to killing yourself with diet and exercise.