@DaddyJew: Every kiss begins with K but so does every kidnapping. That's how words work people.
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@david8hughes: [shipwreck diary] Day 32: a plane flew over last night but I fired the only flare on day 5 to celebrate my first solid shit in over a week
@AthenaMystique: 20 year old me: *imagines awesome career, travelling the world, being in love* 32 year old me: *tweets*
@shutupmikeginn: A trailer in a movie theater ended with "November 20th" and a guy loudly said, "thats my birthday" and a random guy said "happy birthday"
@cloudypianos: me: I want to travel to the victorian era & meet a real gentleman [takes time machine back to 1860 England] man: 31? what are u my grandma?