@AsgardianRose: Every kiss begins with 'K' I whisper quietly to myself as I read his one letter response to my last 7 text messages.
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@bobvulfov: BUILDING INSPECTOR: what's this called DARTH VADER: the death— [inspector's eyes look up from his clipboard] DARTH VADER: uh the health star
@ArfMeasures: WIFE: ugh I hate this slow cooker SLOTH [still putting his apron on] I hate you too, Sharon
@librarianfonz: I hope when the Incredible Hulk and Kool-Aid Man retire they'll open up a small demolition business together.
@TimODee16: Remember when “anyone can grow up to be President” was aspirational, not an existential threat?