@SumukhComedy: Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?
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@envydatropic: I get a new phone every year just so my friends don't think I'm lying when I tell them I've lost their number Avoidance is expensive
@AmnesiaRose: My alarm is set to the sound of a heart monitor's flatline so I startle awake every morning and think, "whew. Close call."