@SumukhComedy: Every Liam Neeson movie now is just him talking on the phone then killing people, right?
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@cbdoubleu: [Going through rubble after a house fire] Her [holding photo albums]: Totally ruined. Me [holding slices of bread]: Pretty much toast.
@tangledteatime: Me: Alright. Does everyone have their parachutes? Paul: Yup. Dave who sometimes lies for fun: *giggling* Yah.
@polyhumorous: I got my husband to marry me 51 days after we met. Today is our 20th Anniversary and I think he's still wondering what the hell happened.
@marebytes: Hey people who design vacuums- Why the headlight? Are people vacuuming in the dark? or riding them on the freeway & I just havent seen?