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@JasonBerlin: Every man was once a man trapped in a woman's body.
@_youhadonejob: Social media explained.
@PaperWash: The Bible is so unrealistic, Noah's wife would have never allowed two spiders on that boat.
@LoveNLunchmeat: Canadian Psycho, but it's just a businessman walking around with a chainsaw, apologizing profusely
@megfraser: Inspired by Baby Jesus, I'm hoping to get nailed this weekend.
@onion_an: [coming home from cinema]
Don't let that ninja film go to your head again.
*roundhouse kicks the light switch on*