@JasonBerlin: Every man was once a man trapped in a woman's body.
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@onion_an: 1st date: I love the spiderman movies Me: So do I [thinking of something to say to impress her] Me: I used to be a spider
@briangaar: Accidentally used the elephant emoji so thanks, Apple, for the next five hours of fighting
@AtticusFinch79: *taking training wheels off my old bike* Mom: You're not ready for this. Me: I'm 37, Mom. I've got this. *starts pedaling; hits a tree*