@relatabledad: every morning i swallow a piece of paper that says "keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case i die and doctors gotta do an autopsy on me
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@NickSchug: If you encounter a bear you should either play dead or be so vibrant that the bear is like "whatever this person seems exhausting."
@Maxine12333: Wish we had the power of at least one 'do over' in our lives. I used mine up in the 1st grade and winning at hopscotch wasn't worth it.
@LetsGet9ined: Man: a pack of condoms please. Cashier: would you like a paper bag? Man: no thanks, she's pretty good looking.
@KKAlThani: I hate when I decide to sleep and my brain goes like "Come back here! Remember that thing you did, why?" & we stay up talking about it.