@relatabledad: every morning i swallow a piece of paper that says "keep up the good work fellas!!" just in case i die and doctors gotta do an autopsy on me
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@warhorse76: Who invented Bull Riding? Hey, I'm gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me.
@silent_musings: I have an oven with a 'stop time' button. It's probably meant to be 'stop timer' but I don't touch it, just in case.
@ch000ch: 9am: protein shake, oatmeal 1pm: small salad, chicken breast 5pm: grilled salmon, spinach 9pm: 4 whole "i don't give a shit anymore" pizzas