@BiIIMurray: Every Olympic event should include one average person competing for reference.
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@WetzelGeek: Son, there's no need for a paternity test. I knew you were mine when you came prematurely.
@AndyAsAdjective: [SETI receives extraterrestrial signal from 95 light years away] [scientist decodes message in the signal] "enough…with…the…Harambe…jokes"
@crunchenhancer: She's got a great personality! It's the other 6 personalities that I'm worried about....
@Marcmywords2: Don't believe that bullshit. Failure is ALWAYS an option.
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