@MollySneed: Every once in a while someone comes along, and if you are really still they'll eventually go away.
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@omgthatspunny: It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it
@jergarl: Wife: Are you drunk? Me: I know this is a trick question so I'm going with no. Why? W: Because you're naked on the neighbors porch. M:...
@_Tempo11: Exits public bathroom stall Makes eye contact with the person next in line Mouths: "I'm so sorry"
@meganamram: If video games have taught me anything, it's that you'll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss