@jakob_huber: Every once in a while someone really special walks into your life. That person is usually delivering a pizza
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@_knuck_: *peeing in the urinal at McDonalds* *turns to the guy peeing in the other urinal* "So, what did you order?"
@abbycohenwl: Don't do anything rash - inept doctor trying to keep a skin eruption from spreading
@dubstep4dads: "Interested in mail enhancement?" Me: u mean 'male' enhancement "No. [whispering] what if I told u I could get ur mail like so fast bro"