@NintenDom: Every Red Hot Chili Peppers song has a part where it sounds like they're trying to guess words for a crossword puzzle.
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@SteveDutzy: *logs on Facebook IT'S YOUR OLD HIGH SCHOOL BULLY'S BIRTHDAY TODAY! *logs off WAIT COME BACK! YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ABOUT YOUR EX'S ENGAGEMENT!
@Ohaiqtpie: On a poster in my math class "4 out of 3 people have trouble with fractions" The sad thing is my first thought was "Oh good, I'm not alone!"
@timdonakowski: *stops next to punks at red light* *stares them down, turns up The Walking Dead opening music* *light turns green, slowly accelerates*