@rolldiggity: Every Scooby-Doo mystery could be solved by asking, "1: Who is your most disgruntled employee?" and "2: Does he have access to a mask shop?"
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@donni: Worst Excuses For Being Late 5) Too many dragons 4) Out of dragons 3) I'm not late, Steve is 2) Time is fake 1) Made a list of excuses
@_Kim_Jongun: For the last time, I don't have any secret prison camps. Anyone who doesn't believe me will be sent to a secret prison camp.
@flashember: ME: Where are the posters? WIFE: THEY JUST DISAPPEARED! [In other room] *cat is furiously stuffing missing dog posters into paper shredder*
@SufficientCharm: A woman isn't really heartbroken unless she does something drastic to her hair.