@KKBowls: Every semicolon I have ever used has been a complete guess
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@UncleDuke1969: “You gotta try the lobs-” - I’ll should tell you… “Yes?” - We’re not having sex. “OK.” - What were you saying? “The chicken here’s great.”
@Prof_Hinkley: [emailing eHarmony match] Her: describe yourself Me: brown hair, kinda stalky Her: lol you mean stocky Me [through her bedroom window]: No
@Jam453Lane: They always say to follow your gut, that's why this is my 11th trip to the fridge for another beer.
@OnlyFastEddie: The closest I've ever come to winning anything was that time I got picked from a lineup at the station.