@iamspacegirl: every snail has a perfectly baked cinnamon bun inside its shell
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@shatterpants: I hate when I wake up at night, look at the clock and go right back to sleep. Essentially my body is just waking me up to do math.
@PaperWash: if you eat your burrito over a tortilla, anything that falls out will simply start building your next burrito
@77StephanieG77: I just learned that embalmers insert butt plugs into corpses to prevent leakage.... So now I know why zombies walk like they do.
@ArfMeasures: [prehistoric times] MUM: When you get married, your husband will be the hunter DAUGHTER: So I gather