@Elifcello: Every so often I Google my name hoping someone stole my identity and made a better something out of myself.
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@ElleOhHell: [at library] ME: Yes, I'd like to Czech out a book on eastern Europe. LIBRARIAN: 3rd floor ME: Get it? L: This is dialog, I'm not reading it
@Jandalize: I'm not saying I don't like you, but if you had an open wound I'd hand you a salt shaker.
@haleysfalling: accidentally added a "z" to the end of the word "think" in a text and suddenly my jeans are sagging below my ass and i have 3 chains on
@WineMummy: Him: Didn't you buy that apple pie yesterday? Me: Yeah, so? Him: There's one small piece left. Me: And if you touch it, I'll stab you.