@Elifcello: Every so often I Google my name hoping someone stole my identity and made a better something out of myself.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@GabbbarSingh: If only Lord Ram used Apple maps to reach Ayodhya, Beijing would have been celebrating Diwali today.
@Book_Krazy: ME: [whispering]"Yes, 911? Someone's breaking into my house!" 911: Stay calm. Do you have an address? ME: "um no. I have on pajamas"
@msdanifernandez: My uber driver asked me how my day was so I opened the door and quietly rolled into the road.
@MaraWritesStuff: BROTHER: The Godfather is on? That's not very Thanksgiving-y. ME: Well, it's about family...