@dreamthievin: Every so often, I try to fornicate a large word into conversation, even if I'm not sure what it means.
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@alispagnola: I just literally fell INSIDE a public toilet because I did too many squats earlier and couldn’t control my sitting down. This is the greatest proof I've ever had that fitness is not worth the struggle.
@CatherineLMK: I'm dressing for the weather I desperately want, not the weather I currently have.
@Dani_Feld: I walked into a room full of men and they couldn't stop staring at me. Oh...wrong toilets.
@Gupton68: 10: "What are we doing today? Me: "We're gonna make tacos." 10: "Then what are we going to do?" Me: "...I'll be eating tacos."