@Breadery: Every squirrel is a flying squirrel if you've got a good throwing arm.
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@DaddyJew: Boss: you're late Me: traffic Carol: he was in his car taking selfies again Me: goddammit Carol, I will cut you
@DothTheDoth: The woman in the Superman underwear next to me does not quite understand how white pants work.
@DrDogMD: PATIENT: I bet medical school was pretty tough DR DOG: yeah I remember one time I did my assignment 4 times bc I ate the first 3 copies lol
@joejwest: WRITER: A drifter & a rich lady fall in love WALT DISNEY: Can they be dogs? WR: A woman steals a couple's baby WD: Can the baby be 101 dogs?