@Ms_WhateverV: Every store should have one line for people who have their shit together.
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@CoopSoSarc: We decided to go out for bbq tonight. As it turns out, I'm too immature to discuss how to smoke your meat with strangers.
@cynicanoldicus: Go ahead, post and claim my tweets as your own. Maybe later, if you like, I'll come satisfy your woman and you can take credit for that too.
@Jandalize: My 16yo daughters boyfriend struggled with a capri sun for the last 10 minutes. I think it's ok to leave her alone with him.
@GregDorris: It's impossible to have an *ok* time on a trampoline. It's either the most fun you've ever had or you go to the hospital.