@Ms_WhateverV: Every store should have one line for people who have their shit together.
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@TheMichaelRock: Me: Hey lady, you can't park there. Her: I'm just running into Starbucks. Me: Oh shit, my bad. Laws don't apply to you then.
@DumbConfessions: God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot.
@vault101girl: This guy at work always looks down my blouse. So im going to put a piece of popcorn in there to see if he points it out.
@bobvulfov: me at 18: im gonna move to new york and go on so many dates me at 26: if i put my phone in a ziploc bag i can go on twitter in the shower