@Ms_WhateverV: Every store should have one line for people who have their shit together.
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@DeanOkay: I learned mathematical fractions from a drug dealer. He said if I don't pay $4,000 in 7 days, I'll lose 3 fingers.
@Ristolable: Me at 20: I'm smarter than everyone in the world Me at 28: I am so smart for going to the cheaper gas station
@stevedildarian: CNN is confirming that the only news in the world today is the blizzard. everything else is under control.
@man_spach: Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?